The dilemma that is recording dark family history secrets. 

Dark family history secrets.  Should we record them? 

Silver Screen Family - Jail

The dilemma that is recording dark family history secrets. 

It’s important to preserve family history for future generations, so that they can share family memories and know about who they are and where they came from. But what do you do when the family history has some dark family secrets in its midst? Do you record and preserve them? Or keep them hidden? The following guide will take a closer look at what to do when your family history has some dark family secrets inside.

At the young age of 14, Henry Miller was charged with the theft of clothing and sentenced to 14 days hard labour for his crime

At the young age of 14, Henry Miller was charged with the theft of clothing and sentenced to 14 days hard labour for his crime

Family Secrets—The Darker Side of Family History

Not all family history and family memories are positive. Some family secrets may be dark or even painful. For instance, a beloved uncle may have cheated on his wife and had a secret love child; or another family member may have led a double life that no one knew about. Every family has its secrets, but the question remains: should these secrets be recorded or kept hidden until they eventually fade from collective memory?

Should We Record Darker Family History? Pros and Cons

There is no easy answer in regards to whether or not family secrets should be recorded. The following are the pros and cons of recording the darker side of family history. These pros and cons should help you to make an informed decision.

Ann Kirk was caught thieving money from people on several occasions, but this time in 1873, Ann was sentenced to 3 months in Newcastle City Gaol.

Ann Kirk was caught thieving money from people on several occasions, but this time in 1873, Ann was sentenced to 3 months in Newcastle City Gaol.

Yes, We Should Record Them

The argument for recording family secrets is that they are an important part of family history, and that future generations deserve to know the truth about their family members. In some cases, the family secrets may involve “hidden” family members (such as half-siblings from an affair, siblings who were adopted out, and so on) which can be important for family members to know. In other cases, the family secrets could have medical implications—such as a history of depression or even suicide in the family; if this is recorded, it can give future generations a heads-up in regards to keeping an eye on their mental health. 

No, We Shouldn’t Record Them

The argument against recording family secrets is that they were made secret for a reason and that recording them and drudging them up will only hurt people in the process. Dark family secrets may not have any benefit for the family, particularly in regards to some family members having affairs or double lives that don’t technically impact anyone else. In some cases, the secrets could even have consequences; for instance, “secret” children may have a claim to their parent’s estate or financial holdings after they pass.

If the secret is particularly dark, then it may be more harmful than helpful to record it and expose it for other family members (or even the world) to know.

Final Thoughts

There is no easy answer as to whether or not you should record dark family secrets and preserve them, or let them fade away with time. Hopefully, the above guide will give you some food for thought to consider when you (and/or your family) are considering recording those family secrets which might otherwise be kept hidden.

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